Tomorrow marks my blog’s seventh birthday (celebrating a tad early because why not?), and that’s kinda cool. I mean, in Internet years, that’s like…137.62 decades, but who’s counting? (Or knows how to math? Probably not me.) Last year at this time, I had taken solace under a blanket fort. I have to say that I think I’ve only recently ventured out of it.
Hmmm…it may be time to wash a…few…things… Ew.
As I’ve been prone to do with these birthday posts, a little reflecting on the past year seems appropriate. And it’s with the number “7” in mind that I offer up seven thoughts on this space and life generally. I’ll tell you right now that I don’t know exactly what word vomit is going to end up on this page, so we’ll all be in for a surprise starting in 3…2…1…
1) While I’m glad that I decided to take on the 30-day video game challenge, the whole thing hasn’t been as personally striking as I has hoped. After 2017, which was kind of a random blogging year, I wanted to get back into more storytelling revolving around games and gaming, and I thought that the 30-day thing would be a good way to do that. But in the end, it hasn’t really proven anything to me other than the fact that I’m stupidly loyal to my lists. The posts haven’t captured much interest from either end, yours or mine, frankly.
2) And yet, I think I’m still going to do another list next year, because I really don’t know what’s good for me. But this one will be much more fun. Well, for me anyway. 90s nostalgia. It’s a little terrifying but something I think I’m ready to tackle.
3) Of gaming this past year, I’m most proud of completing a playthrough of Ori and the Blind Forest for Virtual Bastion. I will likely always sell myself short when it comes to my ability to actually play games, and playing Ori proved to me that my aging platforming chops are still in pretty good shape. It also proved that I’m not yet completely dead inside, so that’s good, too.
4) Speaking of being not quite dead, this year was a real mixed bag for me personally, and I think that manifested itself here by my general lack of desire for online interaction. (Sorry, guys. believe me when I say it’s not you, it’s me.) Do you know that sense of not knowing just how stressed out you really are until you make an actual effort to reduce stress, whereby you realize that so many of your internal issues were formed by said extreme stress? That’s where I was right about mid-summer. The first half of the year was marked by changes and problems. My husband started a new job with a new schedule. I took on more at work. Our car started breaking down. Our cat became very ill. Our car started breaking down more. Etc. Etc. Looking back, sure, now I see the stress of it all, but while in the middle of it, I didn’t realize how badly I had been affected by stress both physically and mentally until I actively began to de-stress. One the biggest things I excised from my life (well, temporarily) was the Internet. I “quit” Facebook and Twitter, I stopped checking news sites regularly, I stopped “reading” on my phone during my commutes. I also cut back on gaming, particularly mobile gaming. I started listening, like really listening to music again, and not just music on my iPod. I started looking out the windows during my bus ride, and paying more attention to, just, everything real. I made changes to my diet, to my commute, and to my exercise routine. And y’know what? Slowly buy surely, I began to feel good again. Not happy or buoyant or in love with life, simply more positive, less angry, and less weighted. I’m not back to whatever 100% looks like, but I think getting to wherever there is.
5) Speaking of not being 100%, I’ve been fighting the worst on-again, off-again cold/hay fever/whatevertheshit for most of November, and I hate it sooooooo much. Part of it likely stems for a terrible allergy attack I had earlier in the month that put me out of commission for almost a week. Since then, my head just hasn’t been quite right. Stuffy, achy, just generally blah. I actually cannot wait until it the winter cold sets in, because this immoderate fall has been the pits.
6) Getting back to point 4, I was kinda surprised at just how much social media had been affecting my general well-being. And it wasn’t necessarily all the hate and negativity that gets spewed out onto Facebook, Twitter, etc., that was causing the problem. It was more that I somehow became overwhelmed with knowing how everyone felt about everything. Being on those sites was just too much. I longer frequent them (as frequently), and I’m finding that I much prefer being anti-social and clueless.
7) Even though this may not have been the most stellar year in a number of ways, I still need, want, and am happy to have this space. It remains a wonderful and necessary repository for my cluttered brain. It’s a place for me to be creative, thoughtful, angry, wanting, and playful. And it’s a place that’s probably come to reflect “me” rather than the person I may want to be. That’s for better or worse, but either way, it doesn’t really matter. Join me if you like, stick with me if you want, and we’ll always have something to share.