Welcome to the next post in my year-long series “Play or Pass” that takes on the proverbial “must before death” theme with video games. Every other week I will be covering one or two games from “32 Video Games You Have To Play Before You Die,” a list compiled by BuzzFeed based on a reader poll. I will not be critiquing the list itself, but rather I’ll be discussing each game or games in whatever manner feels fitting and will attempt to answer a couple simple questions: Have I played [insert game name here]? If yes, do I consider it a “must” and why? If no, do I want to play the game before I die? I’ll be going through the games in the order in which they appear on the BuzzFeed list. Good? Good. Let’s get on with the games!
Week eleven: (14) Assassin’s Creed II
If I have but one regret in life, it’s…well, it’s not that I didn’t play Assassin’s Creed II when we had it. I mean, I probably should have. But at the time, I still harbored feeling of severe angst towards my unsavory and poor (and poorly self-inflicted) experience with the original Assassin’s Creed. Should I have gotten over myself and bit the bullet? Um…the knife’s edge, I mean?
Well, like I said…probably.
Up until things went ass-up in Assassin’s Creed, I was enamored of the game. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I was no master of stealth, and I hit more than my fair share of frustrating fuck-ups as I tried to be all ghostly. But something about the game – maybe the way it looked, as well as Altair himself – was captivating. I really enjoyed just traveling throughout the game’s inspired environments; discovering new locations and secret hiding spaces; managing my way through crowds of people; and climbing to the highest heights in order to see for miles and miles and miles.
I watched a good portion of Assassin’s Creed II being played, and if anything, I think I loved the Italian Renaissance setting even more than the 12th century, Middle Eastern backdrop for the first game. Altair was replaced by Ezio, but the mechanics remained the same – be stealthy, eliminate targets, explore. It looked like plenty of fun, but that experience never translated into me holding a controller and actually playing the game. Why? I’m not really sure. But at the time, I’m going to guess that Mass Effect had something to do with it.
Yeah, sure, just blame Mass Effect for all your problems. Stupid Mass Effect with its space-operatic, highly addictive bullshit. It’s all your fault.
Oh, how I digress.
I tried to pick up the reigns of Assassin’s Creed with the third one, the one that takes place in during the American Revolution, but I barely made it past the intro sequences before becoming bored. It just didn’t have that hook. We have Assassin’s Creed: Unity. It’s still sitting on the shelf…wrapped. Yeah. Being a stealthly mofo in a game isn’t exactly high on my priority list. Though I am kinda looking forward to DisHonored 2. Though I’m sure I’ll end up dicking around, killing everyone, and making the world a horrible place like I did in the first DisHonored. I’m bad a stealth. always.
I ran out of things to say about Assassin’s Creed II, y’know, in case it wasn’t goddamn obvious. I’m not sure why I’m suddenly feeling so hostile. Think the blame here lays with the first Assassin’s Creed. Guess I’m still not really over it.
Have I played Assassin’s Creed II?
If yes, do I consider it a “must” and why?
I don’t know if it’s a “must” even among Assassin’s Creed games, but it is very pretty.
If no, do I want to play the game before I die?
Nay, good sire.